5 Poofs And 2 Pianos

note : this is not mine , i found it on an internet forum , if you tabbed it A ) thanks B ) sorry C ) your an idiot to post it on a forum and not expect it to be shared about a bit . thanks! ( A ) E/G# obviously i don’t want to infer that being invited onto friday night with wossy F#m E isn’t wonderfully affirming , and i know i oughta A appreciate the risk you took , the bookers who agreed to book E/G# F#m E a chap who tends to talk about the kinda things that get the bbc in hot water . A6 and i don’t want to seem greedy , i’m just saying ( E ) i’d like to be here every week if that’s ok . fo7 ( or E7b9/F ) and , if you’ll hear me out , i think i’ve got a way F#m E D in which we could do it pretty easily . E you can leave all the boring details to me . A6 * Eadd2/A * F#m/A * it’s a brilliant idea , a truly original concept . A6 * Eadd2/A * E/B no one in britain has ever done anything like it yet . picture this - imagine if we had ( A ) E/G# F#m E D five poofs and two pianos - yeah , it’s a wicked idea . A E/G# why settle for a quartet of queers D/F# E when there’s a possibility of a penta - poofter - piano - posse here? ( A ) E/G# F#m E D five poofs and two pianos - yeah , it’ll be ace : A E/G# D A a hundred percent more pianos and twenty five percent more gays . pickup : E F# G# ( A ) i know , i know , i’ve seen the problem too . ( E/A ) there’s a rumour i Am straight , it’s true . ( D/A ) Dm it hurts to admit it , but i’m about as bent Dm as wossy himself or fiddy cent . ( A ) but i’ve already thought it through . ( E/A ) d’you know there’s preachers in america who reckon they can do D sxxuality conversions . i’ve heard them assert D7 they can cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt . E7 well i don’t see why they couldn’t pull the same trick in reverse , and we’d have - ( A ) E/G# F#m E D five poofs and two pianos - yeah , it’s a revolution A E/G# and probably the best solution D E to the problem you’re inevitably having with an even number of homosxxuals . pickup : E F# G# ( A ) yes i know your producers might suspect ( E/A ) that the licence - paying public will object ( D/A ) D to the corporation having yet Dm another homosxxual to pay . ( A ) the daily mail will bring the big guns out . ( E/A ) jan moir will be frothing at the mouth , ( D/A ) writing further brilliant stuff about ( Dm ) E the myth about being both happy and gay . F#m F#m/A F#m/C# but all that moral indignation D/F# A/E will disappear when they see D A those four lovely guys and me Bm E singing in perfect harmony . F#m/A and all those angry letter writers , D/A like ’disgusted’ from the isle of wight F#m/A and ’mad’ from hull and ’outraged’ from leeds E E7 fo7 and ’slightly annoyed’ from berwick on tweed , F#m E D will instantly change their tune . A E they’ll be bleeding - heart liberals by saturday noon . D they’ll be giving their grandchildren up for adoption E E7 fo7 in the hope that a gay married couple will adopt ’em . F they’ll be putting rainbow stickers on their cars , G E ( bass line - A E F E G A ) and cutting holes in the arse of their leather strides . and watching 2 pianos and 5 guys watching 2 pianos and 5 guys G ( picks up on the G in the bass line ) watching 2 pianos and five . . 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , ( C ) G/B Am G F 5 poofs and 2 pianos - yeah , it’ll be grand . C G/B F C you can never have too many pianos or too much man . ( C ) G/B Am F 5 poofs and 2 pianos - maybe we could out jamie cullum . G F C make it a trio of pianos and a big gay half dozen .