Iwiwal

( spoken ) ok , so i’m riding around in this car with this woman that i’m close to a couple times A week . and i’m noticing she’s looking out of the window and noticing other women , how this one looks , isn’t her hair lovely? what a nice outfit . . . i said , babe , what is the deal? you’re noticing all these other chicks . . . maybe . . . you’re a lesbian . she looks at me and she says , i wish i was a lesbian . now , at that point i wanted to say , you mean ’you wish you were a lesbian’ because , grammatically . . . but i let it slide . i didn’t wanna ruffle any feathers . but , ya know , that sentence , that retort , "i wish i was a lesbian" . . . kinda stuck in the ole laud - o’s mind . kinda gestated there for seven , eight minutes then this tune popped out . . . G G - - - - - - i wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero G D i wouldn’t have to mess with men and all their come - and - go G D and all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma - chis - mo" C G - - ooooooo , i wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero G C i wish i was a lesbian and that i wasn’t straight G D i would sleep with women only; man , that would be great G D i could throw away my diaphragm; i wouldn’t wanna mate C G - - ooooooo , i wish i was a lesbian and that i wasn’t straight hey! G i wish i was a lesbian; i’d like to be a dyke G D i would hang with k . D . lang; mel gibson , take a hike G C i think it would be nice to love someone who was alike C G ooooooo , i wish i was a lesbian; i’d like to be a dyke G D i wish i was a lesbian; that’s why this song is sung G D it shouldn’t have to matter how someone is hung G C other things are more important . . . like how to use yor C tounge . . . bablblblb G i wish i was a lesbian; that’s why this song is sung D ( etc . . . to the end ) heeeeeey! i dare casey kasem to play this i wish i was a lesbian; i know it’s sad , but true but maybe i might understand you guys and all you do but if i was a lesbian , i wouldn’t have to i wish i was a lesbian; i know it’s sad , but true hey , i wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero i wouldn’t have to mess with men and all their come - and - go and all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma - chis - mo" ( i hate that damned machismo! ) ooooooo , i wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero i wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero i wish i was a lesbian and not a hetero!